Month: August 2015

2015 – IAS 69 . Accounting for Girlfriends

————reBlogger 20150806tko————

Rules
IAS 69 . Accounting for Girlfriends

Objective:
The objective of IFRS 69 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for Girl friends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a female friend as a girl friend, the no. of days the relationship can be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make GF.

Scope:
This IAS applies to all GF’s except those whose father, brother, ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army, intelligence agencies or political organizations or 6+ feet tall, have muscular body and know kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.

Definitions:
The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:
– LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies, dramas and Urdu literature.
– FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and English literature.
– MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the health and money.
-GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts and events that is probable to generate future dates, physical contact and gifts. If not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.
-BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the GF over its useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of the flirting term
-FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:
-from your first conversation till the time the GF father catches you
-from the time of your first date till your GF get married with another person ,in which case she will become your ex-GF.
-from the time of your first date till you get married with your GF, afterward it will become a suffering term.

RECOGNITION
A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:
(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,
(b) no possibility of GF becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and
(c) the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc ) can be measured reliably Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective girlfriends.

MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GF
All the following factors shall be considered in determining the useful life of a GF:
(a) Expected “usage” of the girlfriend.
(b) Expected “physical” wear and tear, which depends on “operational” factors such as the number of “shifts” the GF is to be used.
(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in fashion or “service output” of the GF.
(d) “Legal” or similar limits on the “use” of the GF.

DERECOGNITION

The Girl Friend shall be derecognized:

1. at the end of the useful life of GF or flirting term whichever is earlier,
2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or 3.
3. when remote possibility of GF becoming long term liability occurs.

DISCLOSURE

The flirting statement shall disclose, for each “class” of GF:
a) Total no. of GFs with:
-age of GF
-complexion, face cut
-the useful life of each GF
-email address, residential address and mobile no. of each GF
-any “special” benefits that may have been derived from the GF
b) A reliable estimate of the boy friend regarding no. of expected GFs for each class of GF.
c) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of GF .
—–by —-reBlogger 20150806tko———-

2015 – Texting While Walking_5.3

———reBlogged 20150803tko———-

SCIENCE

People are starting to walk differently because of texting.
BEATRICE GITAU, CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR Aug. 1, 2015, 6:20 PM 23,063  9
using smartphone facebook while walking Ed Yourdon/flickr

image

Texting – or checking social media or watching a video – while walking causes people to walk in a special movement pattern that protects them from accidents, according to a new study.

People who look at their phones while they walk subconsciously “shorten their step length, reduce step frequency, lengthen the time during which both feet are in contact with the ground and increase obstacle clearance height,”say researchers, effectively modifying their gait in order to compensate for the distraction.

By adopting this new walking behavior, texting walkers protect themselves from falling down or walking into other people or objects in their environment.

Researchers at the universities of Bath and Texas asked thirty participants, all between 18 and 50 years old, to walk around a specially designed obstacle course while attempting to text.

The researchers then noted how they altered their movement to cope with the reduced focus and vision.

They found that those who were texting took longer to complete the course, because of their adapted gait.

Last year, a team of researchers from the University of Queensland in Australia found that smartphone use while walking makes people more likely to dawdle, weave, and possibly lose their balance.

Apart from walking funny, researchers say, texting while walking forces the body into a hunched position which can lead to poor posture and balance. In addition, the distractions can make walking around dangerous.

Earlier this summer, Utah Valley University unveiled a texting stairway lane on its Student Life and Wellness Center building.

Shoppers ride an escalator at a Target Store in Chicago, November 25, 201.  REUTERS/John Gress  Thomson Reuters
Shoppers ride an escalator at a Target Store in Chicago

Lanes specially designated for people who want to walk as they use their cell phones have been featured on TV programs and in advertising. Text-while-walking lanes were recently spotted in Antwerp, Belgium as a marketing stunt for a cell phone chain store. Last fall, the Internet was agog with news of texting-while-walking lanes in the Chinese city of Chongqing. The lane, which is dedicated to pedestrians who are glued on their phones, was rolled out in a theme park called Foreigner Street.

Meanwhile, pranksters in New York found another solution for phone-distracted pedestrians. Wearing jackets labeled “Seeing Eye People,” they used leashes to guide people who were engrossed in their cell phones.

While technology is meant to accommodate the way people live, the texting-while-walking gait suggests that humans are adapting to cope with technological change.

Read the original article on Christian Science Monitor. Copyright 2015.

———reBlogged 20150803tko———-

2015 – True Friend_5.3

A true friend is like a penis, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom, he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a vagina, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem. What kind of a friend are you to me? Penis, condom, bra or vagina?
Do u know that the penis is the greatest breakfast ever?  According to doctors it has a mushroom head, a sausage body, two eggs and milk which provides nutrients. Thus making ladies healthy and full for 9 months. Besides it has 3 good manners too. 1.Its very courteous; it stands before it performs.
2. It is very emotional; it weeps during performance.
3. It is polite; it bows after performing.
Send to ladies 2 make them laugh and to men 2 make them happy and proud of themselves