!2018 – Wakanda Botched Marriage

reTwogger: 180315tko

Maiden post!
Madam, your phone is ringing.’ That was Elsie, one of my three employees.  I trusted her a little more than the other two, who were only four months old as workers in my salon. Unlike the other salons around our estate, mine was of a higher level and class. We offered literally everything else all the others couldn’t offer combined. I took my phone and stepped into my private office. It was none other than my sweet husband. He just wanted to hear my voice having left the house one hour earlier than usual. We exchanged pleasantries  then hung up. That conversation got me thinking about my past. I came from a well to do family and that was enough reason to have me attend just the best schools. It was during a school trip that I met Eric. He was tall, masculine, slightly darker  than me and his voice was to die for. I instantly knew what I wanted. Owing to my family status, I couldn’t just leave the house in the name of going to see a man. I had to lie all through college (I was a day scholar) about imaginary trips, just to be around Eric. I had fallen in love with a poor guy. 

After college, I gained the freedom I so much yearned for. That made our relationship stronger. I lived with Eric in my apartment as he hustled for a job, and getting one wasn’t so easy. I used my Dad’s influence and got him a prestigious position in well established company. Life was good. At least I could proudly present my boyfriend to my parents. They liked him and blessed out union. 

The wedding?  Don’t even ask. It was heaven on earth. We were a happy family. I mean, what more could one ask for?   I had a loving husband, a booming business, expecting our set of twins…. That was more than I had asked for and I was grateful to God. 
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock. A client wanted a touch of my magic hands. You see, one of the major reasons why my salon was popular is the fact that I had magic hands. Everyone wanted to have me make their hair. I was already used to that. 

This particular one though did not settle well with me. Zippy was her name. She bragged alot about her loving fiancĂŠ and their soon to be wedding. She was so bossy especially when it came to her 💅. She insisted on having a combination of three colors, because it was her wedding. Well,  the customer is always right so she could as well as get what she wanted. It was her fiance’s name however that made my heart skip a beat. But hey, Erics are many.  After an instructions filled afternoon, she eventually left.

Naomi why won’t you answer your phone?  It’s irritating already. Nkt! ”  Naomi was one of the other two workers. 

But Ma’am,  that is not my phone ringing.  My Samsung ringtone is so known to be my favorite.” 

Whose phone is that then?

Let me check in that couch.

The irritating phone apparently belonged to the bossy customer. Here I thought I had had the last of her… Nkt!  But did she just have to?  Bring the phone here let me put it off. Our peace is more important than her million calls. 

“Eric Bae” was calling….  But what kind of a cruel human being could I be? The least I could do was answer the phone and have the ‘bae’ know that his fiance had forgotten  her phone at the salon. 


Hey babe… 

Sorry… This is not her, she came to my salon and left her phone by mistake…. 

Wow… Where is your salon located?   I could pick the phone on her behalf, am her fiance by the way… Forgive my manners  ma’am. Am Eric Maina  Zippy’s fiance. Zippy is the owner of the phone…….
“Excuse me, did I by any chance forget my phone here?”

That voice that made my insides churn was here again. But that was a good thing. That phone call was making me dizzy. 

I handed her the phone without a word and she proceeded to extend the conversation, but did so with more passion. It looked like that  call would go on forever, so she left with a wave. 
I needed a breath of fresh air…. Eric Mwangi???  But why did that sound like my  husband?  Coincidence wouldn’t be to such extremes. Same name, same voice???  Something was definitely amiss…
Part 3

I did not want to stress myself over mere imaginations and possibilities. I had lives growing in me and they knew no Zippy, or Eric. So, to hell with Eric Mwangi, whoever he was  and his bossy fiance. 

I logged into facebook to try and forget the incident. Against my wish, my husband and I were friends on facebook and had alot of mutual friends. I decided to go through his friends list. One particular friend caught my attention. He liked every post by my husband. I thought of requesting him but a second thought told me to use my Pseudo account in so doing. He accepted my request almost immediately. I slid to his DM and engaged him in a conversation. I used my FBI skills very well and by the time I logged out of facebook, I knew that he was in an unhappy relationship with one Peenah Msupuu. 

I knew exactly who to find out more about the next time I logged in to facebook. 

That was just a distraction, or so I thought. It was evening already and time to close for the day. I found my Eric waiting for me just outside my salon. He hugged me and made me forget all that had happened all day. 

We got home to a good meal but of course after a shower together. Sex that night was good, really good. It was  some minutes past midnight when a crave for aerial scent woke me. I didn’t want to wake my husband up so, I thought against putting on the lights. I opted for my phone torch. Now of all times, my phone decided to hang, so I just picked Eric’s phone and used it’s torch. I got to the bathroom, sat on the closed toilet lid, got the aerial powder on my hand and started enjoying its gravely scent.  I put the phone on the floor and concentrated on what brought me in there. 

After about ten minutes , I had had enough of my crave and decided to go back to bed when a message popped up on the screen.  “Ujue uchukue nguo za majamaa latest next tomorrow ndio kila mtu apime ” sender PEENAH.

Part 4
This must be a wrong number. I decided to let the sender know that. At least  that would help them double check the number they intended to send the message to. I unlocked the phone by simply sliding the screen. Apparently, the user last used whatsApp before locking it.

I decided to take a tour….


 The first chat I saw was of a group “my big day”

I redeemed some points of patience and decided to take a seat. Umbea wataka nafasi. 

I chunguliad the group. Weh!  Kumbe  my beloved husband was finally getting married?  And what’s even worse was the fact that the wedding was only two days away! How did all this happened?  When?  How? I felt a pain, I had never ever experienced before in my life. I lost myself and for a moment I thought I was dreaming. This was not the time nor the season to be weak. If anything, this was when I needed to gather all my strength and even that of my ancestors. I went through all the chats just to be sure. Now what broke my heart even the more was the photo of the bride. Who would have thought that the  nosey and the bossy Zippy was my co-wife  to be?  So all this time, Eric had just been using me as his bridge?  Even our very first meeting was stage-managed. This, I learnt from their facebook inbox chats. And did I mention that the guy I had sent a friend request earlier via my Pseudo account was my very husband? Well, shit happens and this was real. I needed to act, but first,i needed to gather enough evidence. I took shots of everything I found useful and forwarded to my email. That was a safe place. I deleted everything and went back to sleep. My twins just chose that very moment to kick and those kicks gave me strength. The strength to plan and plot carefully just what present I needed to give to my husband  on his wedding day… Or after the wedding.

He stirred in his sleep when I slid to bed next to him.  Sleep baby sleep, you have a major battle before you and it could drain all your energy…….
Part 5
First things first. I needed details about the wedding. After all, was it not my husband’s wedding?  What are spouses for if not support each other and help where possible? 

I woke up earlier than usual with the excuse of my babies not wanting to sleep. I called my best friend Lidyha and asked her to meet me at a joint well known to her.  I ordered  mukimo and chicken, mind you it was seven thirty in the morning. She took tea as she listened to me narrate everything. At some point she bursted out in laughter, telling me that I was crazy. She assumed I was saying everything due to my pregnancy.  I had to prove to her by showing her all the shots I had sent to my email. 

“This is unbelievable!  All along we knew  that you were the only one in a stable relationship amongst us ghels… But what came over Eric?  We all knew he loves you with literally everything he owns.. 

But not to worry. He will have us to contend with. He won’t know what will hit him. 
   THE PLAN…. 

Lidyha  was to get close (very close)  to Zippy and gather all the information needed. That was as simple as taking a candy from a baby. Lidyha was a good news writer, and Zippy was a chatterbox. I must say they would make the best team in gisting. 

By midday, I had all the information I needed. This fool of a husband had the guts to borrow literally everything from our wedding plan. From the florist, to the chefs, from the reception venue… The only adjustment he made were the clergyman and the color. Their colors were brown and green 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Who chooses that for a wedding?  But hey,  forget the crazy combo of color and let’s focus on getting  a gown that really fits me… You see,  I had gained about 17kgs in the five months of my pregnancy.

But before the gown, I needed to pay our lawyer, rather my lawyer a visit. 

It was on my way there, that I bumped into our former landlord, who was a very good friend of my father. He congratulated me on our newest project … Project????
Part 6

Just when I thought I had seen and heard  it all, boom!  My husband had bought and furnished an apartment, of course for his new bride. Did I mention that we were still living in a rented house?  I guess I did. So, this Zippy was so lucky as to have a house to get name? Over my dead body. I narrated the ordeal to the landlord (Mike)  amid tears and by the time I was done he was literally boiling. “How could he?” He asked angrily . He actually wanted to call my Dad but I convinced him against it. I did not want the old man to worry for nothing. After all, I was a big girl and I could take care of myself. Mike was more than willing to help me bring Eric to his knees. The apartment was still under his (Mike) name and they were supposed to transfer to Eric’s name after the wedding, as that’s when he hoped to finish paying for it. 

I told Mike to call Eric at once and tell him that he should not bother clearing the arrears, and that he would refund the money he had paid as deposit. Why?  Because Mike was so good of a friend and had decided to give him the apartment as a wedding present. 

The naive and stupid mumu of a husband that I had fell for the trap.  I guess his teacher didn’t tell him to think twice when the deal became so sweet. I paid for the apartment, signed all the papers and my name replaced Mike’s  in the ownership. Of course I paid extra. Mike had saved my ass. 
The gods of revenge were on my side. 

I proceeded to see the lawyer who even shocked me the more. 

Eric did not have my interest or the interests of his babies at heart, even for s minute.  He had transferred everything we owned to his name. How was the lawyer convinced  you ask? 

He had received a call from “me”  and “i” told him to deal with Eric henceforth and that he should do anything and everything he told him to. That revelation was a clear proof that Zippy knew Eric was a married man and she was knowingly marrying someone else’s husband . You picked the wrong opponent Zippy…..
Part 7

All the love I once had for Eric disappeared to thin air. How could one person’s heart be so evil?  I was disgusted to say the least. I asked the lawyer to prepare the divorce papers for me. No way I would continue  being connected to this kind of a heartless animal. That done, I had to transfer everything to my name.

Let me take you back a little… This lawyer in question was once stranded at school, due to lack of funds to pay for his exams, and I came to his rescue. That was about six years ago when I was still  in highschool. Having come from a filthy rich family,  money was not a problem. That was why  Chege (the lawyer)  was indepted to me. 

It was already late by the time we finished making all the transfers. I had done enough for the day and I just deserved a rest. 

I got home to find Eric waiting for me. Apparently he had an emergency work related trip to Uganda. Wakanda poor planner is this that I got married to?  For a moment I wanted to ask him if he had everything ready then I remembered I was supposed to be in the dark about the wedding. That was on Thursday and he promised to be back on Wednesday. But that would mean that they would only be in honeymoon for what?  Three days?  That’s unfair. I was tempted to tell him  to make it a week but karma whispered to my ear telling me to keep my ideas to myself. Being the dutiful wife that I always had been , I packed the suitcase, knowing very well that another woman would help unpack it. Issokey. He hugged me and kissed me goodbye as I shed some tears to emphasize on the point of missing him. He said alot of nothings about how I should take care of our babies and I, how he wanted to find us safe when he came back, but trust me, I left everything he said right where he said it. 

He was taking forever to go. Didn’t he know I had alot of work to do?  Nkt! 

Part 8
The call from Lidyha woke me up with a start. She was at the door already. Such friends are for keeps hmm… Our plan was for me to leave the house before  Eric came back from his wedding, honeymoon or whatever trip he made me believe he had gone to. I packed a few clothes, picked all my documents and put them in Lidyha’s car. We locked the door and left to her place. We first checked to see if my dress was ready and honestly, liked what I saw. My tailor had done impeccably. I called Chege  about the divorce papers and he promised to drop them by Lidyha’s place before noon. I needed to double check every detail to ensure perfection. 

Let me take you back a little… You remember the chat Lidyha had with Zippy?  Well,  she was able to get two wedding invitation cards. One for her and Mike the landlord, and the other one for Chege  and I. 

Eric called me to let me know that he had arrived to Uganda safely, as Lidyha called Zippy, and learnt from her big mouth that the fiance was actually there  and that he had just landed from abroad… 🙄🙄 I did not know that Kilimani was abroad!  I was in for more, as this was proving to be season of revelations. 

Having done everything we were supposed to do, I was bored and I logged into facebook but via my pseudo account. I found alot of messages in my inbox  from Ricky  wa Zippy. Am sure you don’t need a prophet to tell you that that was my husband’s other account. 

He was complaining about his bride to be pushing him to a wedding he didn’t like, wishing he had met me earlier… Haiya! So he was just a common hyena? I pretended to like him too and that way, I scooped more details about the wedding. He even told me the venue and alot of other stupid things I already knew. I promised to be there and just like that, I had someone looking forward to get to his wedding venue ,not to see his bride, but to have a word with his newest catch. I hated him even the more…….

Part 9


The morning was sunny and it was the sun streaks penetrating through the curtains that woke me up. Lidyha was already up and breakfast was ready all thanks to her. After breakfast I went straight to the bathroom, stripped and stood in front of the long mirror. My belly was all rounded and bigger than most five months pregnancies. I slid into the bathtub  and had the warm water massage every inch of me. I needed to be relaxed for my husband’s wedding. After thirty long minutes, I stepped out of the bathroom feeling more than just relaxed and fresh. I found my makeup artist all set waiting for me. I sat on the seat facing him and closed my eyes waiting for him to do what he knew how to do best. 

I think  I fell asleep because when I woke up one hour later, I thought I was dreaming…. How could I fail to recognize myself?  Jammie had altered my looks and given me a new face. I was natural light but by the time I looked at my reflection on the mirror, I was a shade darker. Wow…power of makeup. After enough wowing, Lidyha helped me into my dress, which was created to slightly hide my now visible pregnancy. This was awesome. 

By the time Mike and Chege came to pick us, we were ready and eagerly waiting to make an appearance to the big wedding. I couldn’t wait to watch Eric say “I do ” to another woman, but trust me, I wouldn’t ruin that. That would be inhumane. All I wanted was the cake, the food, the drinks, the dance, and a picture with the couple. That wasn’t too much to ask for ,was it?

I opened the door to let the guys in, and they instead looked at me with their mouths wide open. When they eventually recovered, they asked me the whereabouts of Beka and Lidyha. 

It was when I spoke that they realised it was me they were talking to. I couldn’t wait for the day to officially begin. This was a good sign….We stepped out of the house and a  limousine I had hired was waiting for us . No-one knew about it because it was a surprise…..


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